Manga

I'm fascinated by all things Japanese. This will not surprise those that know me well. Anime, music, novels, manga, food...I could go on and on.

Lately, my art has taken a turn toward Japan. I'm loving the melding of my mixed-media-hodgepodged-slightly-quilty art with a more Japanese flair. This has led me to relearn many basic drawing skills using the techniques used my manga artists.

I can't wait to show off the results.

Derailed

I feel like someone has shoved me off the tracks. I feel lost and left alone in the middle of nowhere.

In 1997, I jumped at the chance to go to Japan and teach English. My paperwork and resume were perfect. I had the best recommendations. Several thousand extra students applied and they threw out 30% of the applications. Mine was one of them. I couldn't reapply because I was too old once the application process started again. Years later, a friend gets to go to Japan to do the same thing I wanted to do.

We've wanted to move to Chicago for a long time. We placed the house on the market last summer and convinced several people to get out of Indianapolis and move up there. Five friends are now in Chicago including those we convinced to move up there with us. We're still in Indianapolis and no one wants to buy our house.

I seriously avoid being negative, but today is a day I'm throwing myself a pity party. I feel derailed and it's an honest feeling.

I feel like other people are living our dreams. I don't like this feeling and I hope it passes very soon.

When I look up the train tracks, I see the steam from other trains fading into the distance and I feel left behind.

I feel derailed.

"Star Stuff"

Lately, I've been craving the twilight hours. The air smells cleaner and my lungs are filled with life. Those hours are precious because they lead into darkness. The night sky opens up my soul and reminds me of my place in the universe.

Seeing the planets, stars, and the arms of our spiral galaxy chill me and excite me. It's humbling to know that we're made of the same atoms; that we're made of "star stuff," as Carl Sagan said. I'm made of stars and so are you.

The ingredients of this universe are in us day and night. We should be comforted by this. We should embrace the knowledge that our energy and body came from the stars and will return there one day.

We've heard the expression, "God is in the details." I agree. Perhaps heaven isn't out there, but in there. Perhaps our journeys after life lead us back into our molecules which are like small galaxies. Maybe this is what our afterlife is really all about; we return to the matter from which we're made. We reunite with every living thing in the universe that was created before us.

I find comfort that stars are my kin.

Evolution

People evolve. Art evolves. Since the earthquake in Japan, my art has taken a new turn and selected new genes. Shattering something creates change and allows for new beings and new opportunities to thrive. Sorrow can grow into joy. Ruin can become a masterpiece.

I've turned out my best piece of art in years; photos forthcoming. It's probably my strongest work ever. I feel a growing trend.

I also feel the continuing change in my aesthetic, as well, with my body and wardrobe. I am growing into "me." I'm feeling more like me all the time. Reshaping my body feels good and natural. Keeping my wardrobe classic with an edge also feels natural. Making art from my soul is now second nature.

Art, body, soul, edifice are all evolving into something new.

Dark Art

Recently, my art work has become rather dark. It could be the world climate, the upcoming anniversary of my mother's death, or just my mood. Regardless of the provocation, the art is dark and I'm going to run with it. I'm enjoying it, quite frankly.

I'm working on pieces about shattered hope, death, memories, magic, protection, and vulnerability. I'm exploring techniques that are new to me and using different colors and mediums.

Our society shuns the dark in such an unhealthy manner. There are mysteries to life. And science, try as it might, can't explain away everything. Americans fear death unlike any other culture. Death and fear are as much a part of life as birth and joy; you can't have the happy times of life without the counterparts.

Not every story has a happy ending. Bad things happen to good people. Life acts in ways we can't fathom.
And that is why I'll work out my thoughts through dark art.

On Fairy Folk

I believe in fairies. This may or may not come as a shock and I will shun any ridicule.

I've long believed that the Earth is alive in more ways than we can imagine. I don't believe for an instant we are the only intelligent species on this planet. I also reject the notion that ours is the greatest civilization that has ever spread across the Earth. There are far too many clues that point to the origins of our civilization far further in the past than what we were taught in school.

Legends of fairies exist in every culture, folklore, and tradition. The names may change, but the descriptions are generally the same: Earth-bound beings who possess mental faculties far greater than our own; beings that guard the land, plants, and animals in ways we can't fully appreciate. Some fairies are human-sized while others are small and take on some or all of the characteristics of the things they protect.

Have I seen a fairy? I believe so, yes. I was very young, maybe 11. It was early summer and it was on a Saturday. Between my home and the neighbor's there was a very small freshwater spring. A few times a day it would bubble up, flood a small pool and then stop. I stopped by the spring on this particular day and saw something that has stuck in my mind. Dancing in the water was a small being about 4 to 5 inches in height. It was clad in yellow and the clothing was bright and fuzzy; not unlike the down of a chick. I watched this being dance and play for about 5 minutes. I crouched down to get a better look. I decided I needed a picture, so I ran off for my small camera. When I returned to the spring, the being was gone. The water was no longer bubbling. I remember being crushed. I never saw it again. I knew it wasn't a bird or a chick. The memory is still fresh.

I can't say for certain what I saw at the spring, but I know it wasn't my imagination. It was something other than a bird or insect. I may never know, but the memory is a sweet one.

"I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!"
— J.M. Barrie

Style Inspiration from Giuseppe & Ari

I've come across many blogs about style and culture. Two of these blogs stay fresh in my mind.

The first is by an amazing, charming, and handsome man, Giuseppe Timore. His blog, An Affordable Wardrobe, is by far one of my favorite online reads. His fashion sense is impeccable and he's a gifted thrifter and recycler of clothing and goods.

The second blog is newer to me, and I immediately fell in love with the writing and photography by Ari Seth Cohen. Advanced Style is amazing. Ari celebrates the older set and how they dress in New York City. I can't say "amazing" enough. Ari is handsome, charming and delightful.

Reading the work by Giuseppe and Ari has inspired me to clean out the closet and start dressing my body and my soul in a much more honest way. Thank you, gentlemen. I hope we sit down to coffee one of these days. I have some fun work ahead, thanks to these two.