On Heroes, Gods, and Fairies

With the help of my dear friend Michael, I've endeavoured to start a project that will create a series of new comic covers.

Ranging from Oberon, king of the fairies, to a villain named Circus.

The last several months have been a blur of mood swings and staring at art supplies. That has changed in the past few week. I'm not sure if it's a combination of new medicines, getting more sleep, swimming, eating better, growing new friendships, or a mixture of all of the above. I just know that everything feels on track once again.

I'm beginning this series with Oberon and a Native American spirit guide I'm calling Black Hawk. Other characters are gods and other interesting fellows.

I couldn't have done this without Michael's willingness to pose for me and our mutual love of comics.

This is going to be exciting for both of us.

Silence

There are times for silence. This is one of those times. I have nothing to say outwardly; only conversations with myself.

Reflection hasn't always been easy for me but now is the time for that.

I need alone time. Silent time. I need a cabin in the woods.

I need to hear my own thoughts and write them down. Draw them out.

I need retreat.

I need silence.

Manga

I'm fascinated by all things Japanese. This will not surprise those that know me well. Anime, music, novels, manga, food...I could go on and on.

Lately, my art has taken a turn toward Japan. I'm loving the melding of my mixed-media-hodgepodged-slightly-quilty art with a more Japanese flair. This has led me to relearn many basic drawing skills using the techniques used my manga artists.

I can't wait to show off the results.

Derailed

I feel like someone has shoved me off the tracks. I feel lost and left alone in the middle of nowhere.

In 1997, I jumped at the chance to go to Japan and teach English. My paperwork and resume were perfect. I had the best recommendations. Several thousand extra students applied and they threw out 30% of the applications. Mine was one of them. I couldn't reapply because I was too old once the application process started again. Years later, a friend gets to go to Japan to do the same thing I wanted to do.

We've wanted to move to Chicago for a long time. We placed the house on the market last summer and convinced several people to get out of Indianapolis and move up there. Five friends are now in Chicago including those we convinced to move up there with us. We're still in Indianapolis and no one wants to buy our house.

I seriously avoid being negative, but today is a day I'm throwing myself a pity party. I feel derailed and it's an honest feeling.

I feel like other people are living our dreams. I don't like this feeling and I hope it passes very soon.

When I look up the train tracks, I see the steam from other trains fading into the distance and I feel left behind.

I feel derailed.

"Star Stuff"

Lately, I've been craving the twilight hours. The air smells cleaner and my lungs are filled with life. Those hours are precious because they lead into darkness. The night sky opens up my soul and reminds me of my place in the universe.

Seeing the planets, stars, and the arms of our spiral galaxy chill me and excite me. It's humbling to know that we're made of the same atoms; that we're made of "star stuff," as Carl Sagan said. I'm made of stars and so are you.

The ingredients of this universe are in us day and night. We should be comforted by this. We should embrace the knowledge that our energy and body came from the stars and will return there one day.

We've heard the expression, "God is in the details." I agree. Perhaps heaven isn't out there, but in there. Perhaps our journeys after life lead us back into our molecules which are like small galaxies. Maybe this is what our afterlife is really all about; we return to the matter from which we're made. We reunite with every living thing in the universe that was created before us.

I find comfort that stars are my kin.

Evolution

People evolve. Art evolves. Since the earthquake in Japan, my art has taken a new turn and selected new genes. Shattering something creates change and allows for new beings and new opportunities to thrive. Sorrow can grow into joy. Ruin can become a masterpiece.

I've turned out my best piece of art in years; photos forthcoming. It's probably my strongest work ever. I feel a growing trend.

I also feel the continuing change in my aesthetic, as well, with my body and wardrobe. I am growing into "me." I'm feeling more like me all the time. Reshaping my body feels good and natural. Keeping my wardrobe classic with an edge also feels natural. Making art from my soul is now second nature.

Art, body, soul, edifice are all evolving into something new.

Dark Art

Recently, my art work has become rather dark. It could be the world climate, the upcoming anniversary of my mother's death, or just my mood. Regardless of the provocation, the art is dark and I'm going to run with it. I'm enjoying it, quite frankly.

I'm working on pieces about shattered hope, death, memories, magic, protection, and vulnerability. I'm exploring techniques that are new to me and using different colors and mediums.

Our society shuns the dark in such an unhealthy manner. There are mysteries to life. And science, try as it might, can't explain away everything. Americans fear death unlike any other culture. Death and fear are as much a part of life as birth and joy; you can't have the happy times of life without the counterparts.

Not every story has a happy ending. Bad things happen to good people. Life acts in ways we can't fathom.
And that is why I'll work out my thoughts through dark art.